Aha vs. Ha-ha

Aha vs. Ha-ha

Aha moment is the unusual occurrence when things come together to create an awakening, also thought of as the time when the light bulb goes on over your head, after the fact some people refer to it as a stroke of genius.  Not to be confused with opening the door when opportunity knocks.

Ha-ha moments are very frequent occurrences with very little if any value, other than to go through life avoiding ulcers.  You see laughing at life and even at yourself is the opposite of taking life way so serious that you develop ulcers unnecessarily.  I guess if you have never had ulcers you couldn’t appreciate the value of avoiding them.

Once upon a time at the age of 21, I was having a difficult time with life in general; I was holding down two jobs while going to college and being married with a baby girl at home (that little girl by the way will accompany me in completing a couple of items on my bucket list later this year).  I guess you could say that I had symptoms of the beginnings of ulcers.  Eating even a little bit of salad would cause excruciating pain in my stomach, and would keep me from eating even though I was starving.

One day I happen to be enjoying a round of golf with a friend that was finishing medical school, and I decided to ask him for a prescription for my ulcer problem.  Without literally missing a stroke, he said, wait till we finish the 18 holes of golf and I will give you the cure for ulcers over lunch at the 19^th hole (the 19^th hole was the name of the restaurant at the Club House).

I remember that we had lunch and as it turned out I only ordered a glass of milk because my stomach couldn’t handle the food.  As obvious as that would seem we had such a good time discussing the game we just finished that I forgot to ask him for the prescription.  When we left the restaurant we stored the golf equipment in the trunk of our cars and he drove away.

I ran like a crazy guy after his car until he finally saw me in the rear view mirror, and came to a stop.  I reminded him that he was going to give me a prescription for my ulcer problem.  He corrected me and he said I told you I would give you the cure for ulcers, not a prescription.

Here comes the “Aha” moment; He said, “If you have a problem that you can solve, solve it and don’t worry about it; if you have a problem that you can’t solve, don’t worry about it, because all the worrying in the world won’t solve it.”  I was perplexed for a couple of days but then it began to make sense, and I applied that rule of wisdom to all my perceived problems.  Today, some 40 plus years later, I have gone through life without developing ulcer.

I am unusual In that I have gone through life experiencing many an Aha moment, but I probably owe that to the fact, that I am aware of Aha moments, and am constantly on the lookout for them.  I also enjoy my share of Ha-ha moments, but I do take life very seriously.  The best is yet to come….

My One Big Secret

This was almost my last swim

My mother and I had the perfect relationship between mother and son. From the age of 9 years old when my mother and father separated I became the man of the house (literally). The family unit was made up of my mother, my sister (7 years older than me), and me the only man in the house.  My sister passed away three years ago, so I can say the following without hurting her feeling (I am sure she was aware) I believe that I was my mother’s favorite child. Some relatives often said that I resembled my father so much, whom she loved until the day she died, and that is why she favored me.

Communications with my mother were excellent.  There was never any secrets that I kept from my mother, and when she got serious about getting remarried she wanted to know my opinion and approval.  Well, I did keep one secret from her for my whole life (or as it turned out for her whole life).  Her big thing in life was for me to be happy and safe, not necessarily in that order.  Because my maternal grandmother lived on an island off of the Gulf of Mexico, many of our yearly vacations were there.  Whenever we arrived I was like a celebrity to the local kids my age and younger (and even some older ones).  After all they considered me the one that went away to the better world.  Back in those early years I thought they were the ones that were better off.

Those kids had the simple and yet majestic life.  They lived in paradise, bleached white sand on the beach, greenish blue crystal clear water, tropical breeze, banana plants, mango trees, guayabas, berries, and all the seafood you could eat.  None of those mentioned items had to be bought, they were there for the picking, or fishing.  Kids ran around barefoot, in cut-offs or swimsuits, the girls wore white blouses for tops to fend of the tropical sun and its heat.  I on the other hand was always in a process of learning a new language, lived in a climate that pretty much had the four seasons, including the cold and ice and snow of winter.  I am not complaining as it turned out Mexico definitely took a bad turn along the way with the cartels and drugs.

At the time I envied their simple life style.  They would all gather around me and wanted to hear what it was like going to school in the United States.  They wanted to hear me speak in English, and they asked me how to say some specific words in English.  They also wanted to hear about what I did for fun.  The older boys wanted to know what I thought about the non-Hispanic girls that I lived amongst.  When I mentioned the television programs that I watched, they couldn’t believe that people actually had those movie boxes in their homes. 

Since my mother always would tell me to go and play (hangout) with the other children, I always did as I was told.  It goes without saying that she expected me to make good decisions.  When it comes to deciding between adventure and safety, many young ones will go with adventure (sad to say).  Everyone pretty much decided it was time to go swimming in the river.  In those days the best I could do was stay afloat, because of my mother’s safety concerns, I was always told to stay away from the water’s edge (didn’t have any swimming lessons on my resume).

I didn’t know that over recent years, the river had been dredged to allow for ships to pass through the area.  The locals knew to stay near the river’s edge, but I didn’t.  While floating in the river strong currents pulled me away from the shore.  All of a sudden I felt the current pulling me under, I know that I fought to stay on the surface for a short time but I felt that it was for a lot longer, and I was exhausted.  Every time I came up for air I only managed a half breath and a mouthful of water.  The other kids were reaching out to me with oars, and some were swimming out to me.  Even at that young age and inexperienced as I was, I felt that I was not going to win this battle.  I made a calculated decision that I would let the current take me all the way to the bottom.  I curled my legs under me bringing my knees to my chest, and dropped to the bottom like a rock.  While I didn’t want to open my mouth and take in water, I felt like my chest was going to burst for lack of air.  When I finally felt the bottom of the river, I pushed against the river bottom with all my strength extending my legs as if they were spring loaded.  From the bottom of the river I could see the boats on the surface above the water searching for me.

When I finally broke to the surface and could finally fill my lungs with air, I was choking and coughing because I had gotten water in my lungs (it amazes me at how I didn’t panic and kept control of the lungs that had a mix of water and air in them).  My friends reached for me and pulled me into one of the boats. During the time that I wasn’t sure whether I would survive the drowning experience, I did have a quick replay of my life and I worried about how my mother would handle not having me in her life anymore..

After a quick recovery, I found that I wasn’t the only one that feared my mother and grandmother.  We made a pact that no one would ever hear about the near drowning.  A couple of times I came close to telling my mother but thought better of it.  If you don’t believe that I’ve been blessed throughout my life maybe this will convince you.  The best is yet to come…..